The amorous parade of chocolates

The strangest thing happened lately at the cafe. Gita brought a box of German chocolates as a Xmas treat. So far nothing anomalous. This time of year many such items end up at Gretchen’s: chocolates, oranges, trufles, dog treats and toys, glittering garlands that humans can wear so as to look like a Xmas tree. So needless to say that the chocolates didn’t last long, as the few priviledged gulped them down in the twinkling of an eye. Next thing I know of is Gita showing up looking for the chocolates, that apparently ended up here by mistake, her mum having sent her several boxes, and that one was a very special one meant for her. So Gita shows up, hoping to taste one of those, and pfiit! gone! It is amazing how fast those things disappear, so much that I wondered if they didn’t have a life of their own. Because those things literally fly into people’s mouths, but they choose their palate of election. Chocolates mate, they mate with the palate that desires them most. How do they choose their mate? They just listen and watch, and those that drool best are usually the most suitable mates. You got to understand the psychology of chocolates: they are programmed to melt into somebody’s palate, sooner or later, and if they don’t, they wilt, just like flowers, and eventually die. Have you ever seen an uneaten chocolate? It looses its color. However, when they are palatable enough, they do find their mate. I can tell you where some of those ended, and how. It is quite an amorous parade, like the one of birds. Now you’re in the cafe, and the first chocolate- and the first of a few ones- to start off did it when it heard Roberto’s call. You need to know that Roberto has a talent for ventriloquism and telepathy, which enabled him to execute his silent parade to the chocolates unnoticed by humans. The chocolate did see him drooling first, and silently started challenging him: “Ok, you say you want me, but what can you offer in exchange?” It’s then that the perfidious Roberto took a head start on all humans present on that day, with his silent dialogue with the chocolate, and moreover, he spoke to them in German, now that’s disloyal concurrence.
“- Oh, you cannot find a better palate than mine to melt on, I got a warm, cosy place for you there, with the most refined taste buds you can find miles around. Come and try it! I’ll make you dance and whirl under my tongue till you get warm enough to melt, and then both you and me will sink into the great Nirvana. Come on, don’t be afraid, come on!”
The bravest of the chocolates then started asking her fellows what they thought of this guy Roberto. Could she trust him? “Hey guys, check out this guy, he’s drooling, he can’t wait to have me, and he said he’ll make me dance!”
- I don’t know, those guys always boast, and then once inside if they’re no good you’re trapped, I’d think about it if I were you.
- Hey, check out his palate, he’s yawning, oh, I’ve never seen a palate that looked so nice and cosy indeed, I’m already melting! I don’t wanna wait, I’m in for the gig, yipee!”
And in goes the first chocolate. Because what Roberto the perfidious didn’t tell, of course, is that he was polygamous, so that chocolate was followed by several others, few of them being able to see the perfidy and greed behind the irresistible palate appeal.
Some humans didn’t present any interest for the chocolates though, like that Frenchie who declined trying them, thinking maybe later, and she wasn’t really drooling for them anyway, those Parisians, they’re snobbish and swear only by Swiss chocolate or Leonidas Belgium chocolates. So the remaining chocolates soon identified another potential mate, in Gretchen’s palate. That was, they knew it, a top choice too. They could feel the kinship between them and the Viking Gretchen, and they were actually fighting for the first place in her palate. So Gretchen did harbor a few of them.
Now the other mystery is why Gita was so anxious about retrieving at least part of those “very special” chocolates. All conjectures are allowed here. It occured to me maybe those chocolates were actually smuggling some diamonds. Ouch. Gretchen and Roberto, you’d better watch out, I have a vision of Gita seizing Gretchen’s sword, and opening your stomachs to retrieve the precious bounty.